The Fierce Pierce of the Outside World

The Fierce Pierce of the Outside World
By: Shaneika Aguilar

I was awoken by the sweet calls of the red headed cardinals and dull gray pigeons perching at the edge of my roof. The birds that I have been raising since I was in the 3rd grade spend their time calling out to brown spotted sparrows. A cool breeze of air broke through my window and rushed across my face. My eyes opened. I slowly hoisted myself up from my cotton sheeted and springless mattress bed. I stretched out from an aching ball into a life-size human. I reached for the window and pushed my purple and white translucent curtains to the side. The rays of the bright Saturday sun illuminated my room. The sky was painted baby blue and cloudless. Right then and there, I felt the refreshing securement of my very own home.

Yesterday felt like a never-ending nightmare. The sun's rays blazed across the face of the Earth, blinding my delicate brown eyes. My sweat ran down from my head and onto my back. My feet ached as I climbed up that steep concrete hill. By the time I reached class, I seemed as though I have been prancing around in heavy rain. My sweat lingered on the surface of my skin and my class was air-conditioned. I thought that its cool air would refresh me, but instead pasted my fingers together. During class, my stomach felt like a bottomless pit and its anger could be heard across the entire class. I forgot to eat. Lunch wasn't any better. The line extended from the cafeteria all the way to G building. And to add to this dilemma, a stampede of kids cut right in front of the line. Could this day get any worse? It did. Stacks of homework piled up in my binder as the day passed. Three projects, two essays, and a test, all scheduled on the same day - Monday. By the end of school, I missed the yellow city bus and was forced to wait for thirty minutes for the next bus to come. And to conclude to what happened that very day, three teenagers with pierced lips and gages smoked a cigarette bud next to me. I could barely breathe and my frail legs didn't want to budge. I could already feel the empowered sting of the pressures outside the comfort of my own home.

I wanted to escape the pressure of the outside world and spend my time in my private getaway. So, I stepped onto my beige carpet and threw all of my burden behind me so I could enjoy what my home had to offer. I thrusted my body over onto my fainted black sofas. I felt sudden relief as my body slowly sunk into its cushions. My black and gray gradient marble table sat before me and behind it was my decade-old Sony Trinitron TV. Every now and then, it would serve as a form of entertainment when the good mood strikes. On both sides of the TV, were a pair of parallel glass shelved mahogany cabinets that towered over me. In them, were the snapshots of my childhood memories that showed how I transitioned from a little girl to an adolescent. To the left of me, was where the clutter and the mess began to reveal itself, but I didn't mind. I am most comfortable when I see each of my family member's possession in that clutter. It gave me the reason to be secure, knowing that each member of my family is here with me and has a special place in this home. That was not the only mess I left lying around. Our study isn't so pretty itself. Business envelopes, telephone books, pictures, and letters scattered every corner of the study room. There were days when we planned to clean up the mess, but there was a constant disturbance of special events. When I'm in there doing my homework, my mind can't keep focused in an organized room. It would feel too empty and I wouldn't have that sense of accomplishment that motivated me when I would see my school papers on the floor.

But my inner most self is yet to be completed. Set on a black folding stand, its keys that shimmered in the light of the sun that broke through the windows, was the "stem to my flower." The sound of the church choir ringed in my head as I set my very eyes upon it. I sat on the black leather chair that was neatly unfolded in front of me. I placed my fingers and pressed onto its white, then its black keys. Musical notes began to fill my ears as my fingers danced across the keyboard. Out of nowhere, harmonical music notes began to escape from my mouth. There was no musical piece or lyric sheet that stood atop the piano. Just seeing the paper there makes me feel as though someone is leading the way that I feel. I want to be original and I want to actually hear how my feelings sound like. By the time I finished the last note of the piece, I grabbed a blank sheet of paper and a blue pen. I sang and played along to guide my composition of my own original masterpiece. I looked outside and noticed that the sun has settled on the horizon. I wanted to imprint a special memory for this day. So, I invited my family to sit in and join in with my emotions. As I was playing my piece, my eyes began to close. The harmony of the song flowed within me like a calm river and my head swayed along with the music. My family was drawn into the beauty of the piece and so was I. I didn't want the song to end nor would I want the sound of my feelings to come to a halt. However, as the song was nearing to its finishing note, I began to realize that no matter how bee-like the world can be, I can always come home knowing that I have survived the world's unfair game. Once I have entered my querencia, no one or any living creature could hurt me any longer.